How to Choose your Life Partner

This is an article which one of my cousin had sent me....it has helped me...hope it helps you too...

A successful relationship requires communication and problem-solving skills, the ability to manage your own emotions, patience, selflessness.

If you are like me, no one ever sat you down and instructed you on how to choose a life partner. Yet, this is one of the most critical decisions we will ever make in life – with potentially huge repercussions for a less-than-ideal choice. A long-term relationship can be one of the most joyous and fulfilling experiences life has to offer. Although you may not have learned it from your mother, here is what you need to know to choose the life partner who is right for you.

Consider qualities that are important to you

First, become familiar with the qualities that you desire in a partner. It doesn’t matter what they are – what matters is that you are consciously aware of what is important to you. Take some time to reflect, write a list if it helps you, and keep at it until you are clear about what you want. Two qualities you might seriously consider are honesty and openness/flexibility. You need to be able to trust your partner to be straight up with you – about money, preferences, things they are doing, people they are spending time with. In addition, you will want to choose someone who is open to examining themselves, willing to take responsibility for their own behavior, and able to move with the ebbs and flows of life.

Remember these qualities when you are dating

Now that you have developed a list, have the wisdom to use it. We all know how easily we are sidetracked by sexual attraction, the blush of a new romance, relationship melodrama. If what you want is a partner for life, forget romance and be logical and realistic. As you are getting to know your potential partner, take some time to sit by yourself and determine if he or she possesses the qualities you desire. If so, happily continue dating. If not, find the strength within yourself to stay aligned with what you really want, say a kind goodbye, and move on. Abandon hope that things will change in the future. Base your decision on what you are certain of, which is what you know to be true now.

Discuss the big issues

I find myself in disbelief when I hear of newly married couples discovering monumental differences on some of the most essential life choices. Spare yourself this challenge by initiating open discussions about children (if, when, how many), child-rearing, money, work, religion, where to live, and relationships with extended family. The purpose of these discussions is to uncover any fundamental differences between you so you can decide if you want to continue the relationship. Do the research thoroughly, but also realize that priorities and preferences have a way of changing over time. This is why openness and flexibility are important. Learn all you can about your potential mate, and have the courage to walk away if the fit is not right for you.

Find a good friend

Sharing your life with the right partner is a joy. The intensity of the initial attraction will subside, so make sure that the friendship is strong. Do you have common interests? Is your conversation enjoyable and stimulating? Would you choose to spend a free day with this person? If your answer is “yes” to these questions, you have in place an important element that can make your relationship stand the test of time.

Find a lover

You really want the sexual part of your relationship to work, as stumbling in this area can cause great conflict and dissatisfaction. Appetites will change – often once children arrive or hormones begin to dwindle. Start off with sexual compatibility, and you are building a strong foundation now and for the future.

Don’t think that love, or sexual attraction, is enough

How often have you heard, “But I love him?” A long-term relationship involves so much more than love. A successful relationship requires communication and problem-solving skills, the ability to manage your own emotions, patience, selflessness. You end up dealing with child-rearing, balance between work and home life, crises that inevitably arise. Love and sexual attraction are beautiful expressions, but they are not enough for choosing a life partner.

Determine if you can solve problems together

Notice how you disagree, and how you recover from disagreements. If you or your partner defend your own positions, you will have difficulty coming to a resolution. The need to be right limits good communication. Look for, and be, someone who speaks respectfully and is open to other points of view.

Decide if you can accept your potential partner’s idiosyncrasies

We all have them. Ways of being, things we do, that are our personalities and quirks. Take the blinders off, and see with your eyes wide open to determine if the person you are considering is someone you can actually live with on a daily basis. Reflect on their energy level, preference for time alone, desire for social interaction, ways of handling stress, and level of cleanliness. Don’t be caught by the trap of hoping they will change, and don’t fool yourself into believing that something that bothers you now won’t continue to fester over time. People do change, but there is no guarantee. Contemplate within yourself to see if you can accept your potential mate as is.

Know your dealbreakers

Only you can know your bottom line. You deserve to be with someone who is truly interested in making your relationship thrive. If you are mistreated or disrespected in any way, think twice before moving forward. Take very seriously problems such as addiction, large debt, uncontrollable emotions, or severe mental illness. You can have tremendous compassion for people with these issues, but the likelihood of being in a satisfying relationship with them is negligible.

Be an amazing partner

While you are looking, use your time wisely. Reflect within yourself to become aware of the difficulties you might contribute to a relationship. Are you too clingy or afraid of getting close? Are you overly passive or controlling? Do you need to get your own life on track in some important way? Are you attracting, and choosing, people who aren’t right for you? Do you have annoying habits? Are you a grownup, able to make your relationship with a partner a priority over your immediate family? Be happy in your own life, and you will effortlessly bring happiness to others.

In choosing your partner, I’m inviting you to use your head as well as your heart. When you do, you are opening yourself to the possibility for the deepest intimacy and celebration of life. Allow your heart to expand in every direction, and enjoy the journey!

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Circle of Unemployment which we create in animation Industry

With every pirated animation movie we watch on a DVD or a VCD ...We are killing thousands of animation jobs which are existing in the market. Its a circle of unemployment which we are creating and it all happens for saving some few hundreds...

Please go thru the image.

How to converse during a heated argument with your loved ones..

I felt and found out that over a period of time and talk with various people...

Conversations between committed and married couples go fine but the actual trick and smartness lies in how to tackle heated conversations and how to put across your personal thoughts to the other person. During this, both the people would like to
put across their thoughts as early as possible and would be tempted to say or react to the words what the other is saying, hence resulting in cutting the flow of the other person in the middle

the analysis and the reasoning process starts in the mind of the listening person as soon as the conversation is half way or a quarter way through.

The person who is listening to his/her soul mate would be eagerly waiting for the chance to say as soon as possible..

To me, these things happen not only to the people who are in a relationship or who are married couples....it happens to many teenage son's and daughter's. They experience the same thing in conversation or an heated discussion with either their mom or dad or sis or bro...

Heated conversations should be handled with a lot of care coz things go wrong and any person might loose the temper and say words which shouldn't have been told...which might create a lot of hurt and scar for a long time...my experience says..though we know all these things theoretically we as human beings fail to execute it..and god know's y..?

i have been thinking about it for quite sometime...and one solution i felt which many of us may know or may not know is...

Heated conversations..or angry discussions should contain one ingredient and that is

THE CONVERSATIONS SHOULD BE LIKE SOMETHING WHICH HAPPENS IN A COURT.EACH ONE GETS HIS/HER PART OF TIME TO SAY AND SHOULD UTILIZE IT.

both the lawyers are given equal amount of chances and ample amount of time to tell what they feel and think about their client...and when one lawyer is mentioning the point...the other sits back and listen's to what he is saying...makes notes and prepares the strategy...

unlike the scene in the court..couples or conversations between the loved ones is not abt winning or loosing...its about putting your thoughts across...and the decision is a lot mutual...and taken in the interest of both..but both may have to compromise on many aspects or happily agree to reach to that mutual arrangement.

so while discussing or sorting issues...the thing which we should be avoiding is interfering between the conversation ....let the others speak their part and then put across what is to be said from your side. Its a lesson i have learnt for good over the period of time and am writing it so that 2morrow if i forget it...i can read it back and get the clarity...in the due course of time if my thoughts help anyone i would be happy...

One more thing which i have seen working for me, as everyone says....focus on the solution and not the problem and it will be solved...

i used to believe these words but dint felt it to believe whole heart because i never saw it happening to me.

Since yesterday night i was thinking abt a problem and till today morning i was still thinking about the pain which i will have to undergo because of that,no single second i kept aside my pain and focussed on the ways i which i can resolve it...

today morning when i was driving my bike..i got tired of thinking abt the problem...and i left it...that was the time when solution struck my mind...and i was astonished to feel the authenticity of the sentence which is said by many successful people...

Focus on the solution and not the problem...and everything will be solved...

the more you believe it...the more it works for u....

i think...thats all for today..my feelings..my world...

i would appreciate comments and suggestions on this post...please write any other solutions which u have found during ur life experiences....

WHEN A LIZARD CAN, WHY CAN'T WE?

WHEN A LIZARD CAN, WHY CAN'T WE?


This is a true story that happened in Japan.


In order to renovate the house, someone in Japan breaks open the wall. Japanese houses normally have a hollow space between the wooden walls. When tearing down the walls, he found that there was a lizard stuck there because a nail from outside hammered into one of its feet. He sees this, feels pity, and at the same time curious, as when he checked the nail, it was nailed 10 years ago when the house was first built. What happened? The lizard has survived in such position for 10 years!!!!!!!!!!

In a dark wall partition for 10 years without moving, it is impossible and mind-boggling. Then he wondered how this lizard survived for 10 years!!! Without moving a single step--since its foot was nailed! So he stopped his work and observed the lizard, what it has been doing, and what and how it has been eating.

Later, not knowing from where it came appears another lizard, with food in its mouth. Ah! He was stunned and touched deeply. For the lizard That was stuck by nail, another lizard has been feeding it for the past 10 years...

Imagine? it has been doing that untiringly for 10 long years, without giving up hope on its partner.

Think, will u do that to your partner?

Imagine what a small creature can do that a creature blessed with a brilliant mind can't.

As information and communication technology advances, our access to information becomes faster and faster. But the Distance between human beings . . . is it getting closer as well?

Please never abandon your loved ones

Never Say U R Busy When They Really Need You ...

You May Have The Entire World At Your Feet.....
But You Might Be The Only World To Them....

A Moment of negligence might break the very heart which loves you thru all odds..

Before you say something just remember…..
It takes a moment to Break but an entire life to make...

To Live Use Heart and to Survive use Brains.

Then Life would be a paradise Unfurling only Love Joy and Happiness.....

My Anxieties about marriage

My Anxieties about marriage and some questions about how to deal smartly during its difficult times had inspired me to find and read books about marriage.

Our parents take so much care in making us ready at every stage of life...so that when we face it, no matter wht is the result...their aim is always to make us ready to face any kind of adversity or opportunity with confidence. They teach us how to believe in ourselves and our gut feelings.

But when it comes to marriage or tips and tricks of how to deal with the new relationship and commitment, many of the parents don’t do their homework by telling it in detail about what they have learned over the period of years of courtship. They feel its not necessary to talk about it and the only responsibility what they would like to fulfil is making the girl learn how to cook...or if they are the parents of a boy...utmost the thing what they would like to do is...motivate and push their son to have a great bank balance and a house or an apartment.

Some kind of pre-marriage counselling should be done by the parents to guide them into the future responsibilities. I asked my parents...they dint speak much about it...so i decided to go ahead and find my own way...the usual way which i choose is guidance by books..i got one and this post is all about what i have read and understood from that book.

Disclaimer And Caution:- The below written lines are no bhramaastra and some kind of be all end all kind of solutions...i have read the book THE 24 X 7 MARRIAGE by Mr.Vijay Nagaswami...and i could relate to it. So, i am sharing it. Please read it in detail and if you feel you have gained even one thing from it. Please leave ur comments.

The new face of Indian marriage and the way it functions.

Whether you fall in love and get married or whether love comes to you after the wedding, it is the way you work on your marriage that determines how successful it will be.

The new Indian marriage is not just like the way the marriage of our parents used to function. Today’s marriage have a lot of demands from both the genders. Unlike our parents..the couples of these times work hard and party harder, financially independent and had grown in an environment where they had the liberty of thought and its execution. So how do u define the face of new Indian marriage.

The New Indian Marriage

Focuses on emotional fulfilment for both partners, and not merely procreation or recreation.

1. Is owned by both partners in the marriage and not by anyone else.

2. Recognises 2 sets of personal spaces (“I” Space) in a marriage, but pays due attention to the marriage space (“We” Space) as well.

3. Appreciates that fights, issues and conflicts are inevitable when two individuals engage in a close and intense relationship

4. Uses rational processes to manage these fights, issues and conflicts

5. Employs a zero tolerance policy towards abuse-whether physical, verbal, sexual or emotional.

6. Pays adequate attention to the experience and expression of sexual and emotional intimacy

7. Works towards transparent and honest communication styles

8. Does not hesitate to seek professional help when things get sticky between the partners or they find it hard to find the solutions to their issues.

9. Understands that divorce is a legitimate option (is the marriage does not work despite the best efforts of both partners), but only the final one.

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How to be a successful in Animation

How to be a successful in Animation

1. Attitude
2. Looking at Education as a Research
3. Concrete Basics
4. Discovering what excites you the most
5. Practical Knowledge
6. Building your own Nexus/Network
7. Capitalizing on the Specialized Area of Interest
8. Communication/Soft Skills
9. Demo Reel


Attitude

1. Should and Must have Good time sense.
2. Constructive Curiosity
3. Understanding the concepts and sharing with peers
4. Willing to take responsibility & fulfilling it. Being a good team player and a motivator
5. Open to Corrections & Criticism

Looking at Education as Research

1. Make yourself aware of the various departments in the subject ie. Animation
2. Understand the limitations of the course you have joined by asking seniors, reading journals, getting updates on the industry requirements on a day to day basis.
3. Read something about the topic which is going to be discussed in the class. It will keep you awake and on your toes during the session. Hence you will be interested in the topic.
4. Do not stick to only and only to the syllabus or the class room sessions. They only give you a general idea about what it is…but not the in depth understanding of the subject. Go back home and do a lot of R&D on the topics which are discussed in the class. Come back with lot of questions.
5. Constructive Questioning Attitude will allow you to get a deeper sense and knowledge about your subject
6. Read the help section provided.
7. No Questions = No Answers, so Discovering the Right questions is the answer to a successful career.
8. Try understanding the concepts and think about how to apply it in the future.
9. Education is not about learning, mugging up and writing exams. Real challenge lies in making an innovation using that education.

Concrete Basics

• “Getting the basics Right” will allow you to see the path ahead “clear”.

• Get a deeper understanding about the basic concepts so that you can get an insight on how well you can exploit it to the most.

• Revise your basics on a regular or a daily basis. Remember “Opportunity knocks only once and only to a prepared mind.”

• Enhance your skills which you have by default and work on those which you think are weak at. By default r Like some are born artists or some have very good color sense, very good acting and performance skills, logical and reasoning abilities, aesthetic sense. Weak at :- may be computer software skills, or artistic sense or anything XYZ

Discovering What Excites you the most

► After getting you basics right try finding the area which really excites you the most and you would be happy doing it for the next coming few years.

► Many a times the area of interest is almost the same as the inherent or by default quality what we have. But it may not be an exact match always.

► Try constructive experimenting with your abilities and knowledge.

► Be clear and confident about what you want become and why you want to become. Be true to your self. Ex:- Related to animation, some would like to become a generalized 3d artist, some aspire to become an animation film maker, some would like to become a module specialized artist, whatever it may be…be very clear about what you want and why you want and that’s the first step towards success.

► The faster you find what excites you, the better it is. Lets take Real life examples amongst us :- Dr.A.P.J Abdul Kalam, A.R.Rehman, Dhirubhai Ambani, Sachin Tendulkar and many more to mention. They all had one thing in common..ie:- They discovered very early in their life what made them truly excited and they started working towards it. Hence the result was success.

Practical Knowledge

► Working on projects would allow you to gain a lot of Practical knowledge. Do as many you can. Big or Small, it doesn’t really matter till you are gaining knowledge.

► Start early. Every successful person dint know the right path…but they knew what they want to achieve. Don’t wait till the faculty or the course or the institute gives you a project to do. Think on your own, take advice from your seniors and kick start the process…Every human being in creative and we all are here today in animation field because somewhere down in our heart we believe in creating something new and innovative…

► Working on lot of small and big projects would allow you to understand with which areas you are comfortable with and can excel in the future.

► Do something which really gives u a HIGH.

► Industry will never allow you to do projects as a fresher because it costs them a lot. Academy/School/College/Institute is the only place where you get a lot of creative freedom and time to experiment. So don’t loose that opportunity, rather direct it in a positive direction

Building your own Nexus/Network

► The first and foremost mistake what we do as students is to totally rely

on the college for everything. From providing the knowledge to getting a job. Everything we don’t learn from our parents. Certain amount and share of knowledge is gained by interacting with our friends, by looking at others how they behave and respond.

Understand your industry, how it works, try and meet people, talk to them who have worked and served the industry, working professionals, freelancers. Start building contacts in your field. Trust me, it does wonders. Building your own network will not only allow you to get a job when needed but it will also allow you to be constantly aware of the developments and requirements in and of the industry. You can help yourself as well as others and not depending on the faculty or the college all the time.

► Thanx to these Social Networking sites like orkut, facebook, Hi5, Twitter and chat rooms where we can meet like minded people and discuss our thoughts. Effective use of internet can be your trump card. Put it on the highest priority.

Capitalizing on the Specialized Area of Interest

• Current animation production houses ask for specialized people to cater to various needs in a specified amount of time. Being a specialist in 1 or more areas would give a deeper strength and sufficient knowledge in other areas of production would give a wider perspective to your resume. Because of this you would compel the employer to think about hiring you when compared to others in the line.

• When I say specialized, I don’t mean tools or software skills.. specialization and expertise means, a deeper and stronger understanding about the subject. For ex:- In Lighting, if you don’t know the basics of natural lighting like behavior of shadows, light directions, technical terms like reflectivity and refraction, sampling, passes and so on and so forth…if these kind of things are very clear to the candidate, he or she can exploit it and light any scene with any kind of brief description

Effective Communication & Soft Skills

► Communication is the core for every deal. Being in a creative and media industry, it is a must. Every student who is aspiring for a job should look at learning and communicating in English, as it is the widely used language in many national and international studios.

► Read books on how to face an interview, Verbal and Non Verbal language (body language), Books published on IAS and many competitive exams would help you give an insight on it.

► Talk to people who had given interviews in animation companies, working professionals and ur seniors. This will allow you to understand and prepare yourself effectively.

Demoreel

Your demoreel is your one chance to shine without necessarily being present. It needs to demonstrate, in a couple of minutes, the genius of many years of hard work. It ’s not just a compilation; it’s the unique you and your life ambitions condensed into a few minutes. It’s also the ticket to your future.

Points to Remember while making your Demoreel

► Demoreel should contain your best work. If you are not happy with your work, please don’t put it. No one either would be interested.

► Leads would be looking 50-60 demoreels a day. If they are not impressed by the first 1 min of your reel, they will not see it further. So always put your best work first. Presentation also matters. Its all about packaging. You are a commodity and production house is a buyer. You have to sell yourself.

► Demoreel should contain a copy of the resume. It should be properly edited and indented. The Demoreel CD should be enclosed with a Demoreel Breakdown. CD should contain a soft copy of the same.

► Demoreel Breakdown is the sheet which tells the employer in brief about what your reel contains and what kind of effort you have put to make it.

► Sound should be properly taken care of for the demoreel. It should compliment it and not disturb it.

► Include a title card at the beginning and end with your name, address, phone, and email. Including the position you're looking for is not a bad idea, either.

► Demoreels can be anything ranging from 30 sec to 3 mins (max) long. It should be effective.

► Please do not put class assignments in the demoreel. Companies can make out if it is so. They are interested in your work which u have done after completing the course.

► Mention the techniques which u have used as a scrolling text or with a fade in and fade out.

► Studios abroad will have their prerequisites for the demoreel. They may ask in different formats. VHS,CD,DVD, please take care of the video standard-NTSC/PAL. Typical Indian animation studios would ask in a DVD PAL format. But then please do check the website of the respective studio before sending the demoreel. If not mentioned, please take the pain of calling up or mailing them and asking the format in which they would like to have the demoreel.

► Demoreel should contain domain and module specific work. If the demoreel is being sent for an animators position, studios would not look at the kind of textures or the models u had made. They would be only interested in your animation work and sense you have got for it.

► Modeling, Texturing, Lighting, Animation :- 1 to 2 mins

► Rigging:-2-3 mins

► Just in case, put a .mov, .avi , .mpeg format. Before sending the CD/DVD, try playing it on a very low end computer. Look for no scratches on it.

► Focus on what you do better than anybody else.

► Please put the credits list for all the models and stuff that u have used.

► While sending the demoreel via post, wrap it around a bubble paper and send it in such a way that it should not break. Better u put it in a plastic cd case. Do not forget to Write your name and details with your contact number.

► Upload your demoreel on a video sharing site and include the link in your resume. Please carry a folder with copies of resume and demoreel cd’s while applying to companies.

Bottom Line

► Turn your passion into your career and you would not have to work a single day in your life.

► To survive in the industry, 2 essential things which are needed:-

§ Team work

§ Time Sense