How to converse during a heated argument with your loved ones..

I felt and found out that over a period of time and talk with various people...

Conversations between committed and married couples go fine but the actual trick and smartness lies in how to tackle heated conversations and how to put across your personal thoughts to the other person. During this, both the people would like to
put across their thoughts as early as possible and would be tempted to say or react to the words what the other is saying, hence resulting in cutting the flow of the other person in the middle

the analysis and the reasoning process starts in the mind of the listening person as soon as the conversation is half way or a quarter way through.

The person who is listening to his/her soul mate would be eagerly waiting for the chance to say as soon as possible..

To me, these things happen not only to the people who are in a relationship or who are married couples....it happens to many teenage son's and daughter's. They experience the same thing in conversation or an heated discussion with either their mom or dad or sis or bro...

Heated conversations should be handled with a lot of care coz things go wrong and any person might loose the temper and say words which shouldn't have been told...which might create a lot of hurt and scar for a long time...my experience says..though we know all these things theoretically we as human beings fail to execute it..and god know's y..?

i have been thinking about it for quite sometime...and one solution i felt which many of us may know or may not know is...

Heated conversations..or angry discussions should contain one ingredient and that is

THE CONVERSATIONS SHOULD BE LIKE SOMETHING WHICH HAPPENS IN A COURT.EACH ONE GETS HIS/HER PART OF TIME TO SAY AND SHOULD UTILIZE IT.

both the lawyers are given equal amount of chances and ample amount of time to tell what they feel and think about their client...and when one lawyer is mentioning the point...the other sits back and listen's to what he is saying...makes notes and prepares the strategy...

unlike the scene in the court..couples or conversations between the loved ones is not abt winning or loosing...its about putting your thoughts across...and the decision is a lot mutual...and taken in the interest of both..but both may have to compromise on many aspects or happily agree to reach to that mutual arrangement.

so while discussing or sorting issues...the thing which we should be avoiding is interfering between the conversation ....let the others speak their part and then put across what is to be said from your side. Its a lesson i have learnt for good over the period of time and am writing it so that 2morrow if i forget it...i can read it back and get the clarity...in the due course of time if my thoughts help anyone i would be happy...

One more thing which i have seen working for me, as everyone says....focus on the solution and not the problem and it will be solved...

i used to believe these words but dint felt it to believe whole heart because i never saw it happening to me.

Since yesterday night i was thinking abt a problem and till today morning i was still thinking about the pain which i will have to undergo because of that,no single second i kept aside my pain and focussed on the ways i which i can resolve it...

today morning when i was driving my bike..i got tired of thinking abt the problem...and i left it...that was the time when solution struck my mind...and i was astonished to feel the authenticity of the sentence which is said by many successful people...

Focus on the solution and not the problem...and everything will be solved...

the more you believe it...the more it works for u....

i think...thats all for today..my feelings..my world...

i would appreciate comments and suggestions on this post...please write any other solutions which u have found during ur life experiences....